Couples therapy
Couples therapy in Virum and Copenhagen – room for both of you
Maybe you keep ending up in the same arguments. Maybe silence has grown between you, or something has shaken your trust. You do not need to experience your problems the same way to start couples therapy.
I help you understand what happens between you and put into words what is hard to reach each other with. We explore your patterns while taking each person’s actions and responsibility seriously.
Couples therapy – 90 minutes – 895 kr.
Copenhagen Ø, Virum or online
Could it make sense to work on your own patterns on your own? read more about individual therapy
Practical information
Copenhagen Ø
Kroghsgade 1, 2100 København Ø
Virum
Hybenvej 86, 2830 Virum
Online and by phone
Sessions online and by phone
You can book online or write by SMS – choose whichever feels easiest. The Virum practice is close to Lyngby, and Copenhagen Ø is easy to reach from anywhere in Copenhagen.
What we can look at
What keeps you stuck
Many couples recognise the pattern where one becomes critical while the other withdraws. It is one of the most common – and loneliest – patterns to end up in. But there are many others: the recurring conflicts that always end in the same place, the feeling of distance when desire or presence fades, breaches of trust that run deep, or the stress and mental load of everyday life slowly eating your energy.
Criticism and withdrawal
When one pushes and the other closes. We look at what happens beneath the surface.
Recurring conflicts
The same arguments, repeating themselves. We find out what they are really about.
Distance and desire
When closeness and desire disappear. We talk openly about it, without blame. If desire or intimacy weighs heavily, you can also read more about sexological therapy.
Breaches of trust
When something has broken. We look at what it takes to rebuild – if that is what you want.
Communication
When words turn into weapons or walls. We find new ways to talk together.
Family life and mental load
When logistics, stress and unequal burdens push your relationship into the background.
Where you can meet each other
What happens in a session?
In the first session, you both get the chance to tell what brings you here and what you hope for help with. I help hold the direction and make room for both of you to be heard.
When the conversation becomes tense, I help you slow down and look at what is happening. Together we agree on what to work with. Along the way I ask how each of you experiences the sessions, so we can adjust.
You do not need to know in advance whether you will stay together. The conversations can also help you clarify what each of you wants.
Practical information
Couples therapy in Virum – close to Lyngby and Holte
If you are looking for couples therapy in Virum or near Lyngby and Holte, we can meet in my practice at Hybenvej 86, 2830 Virum. There is room both for what is hard between you and for what you long for more of: connection, joy, desire and closeness. I also offer sessions in Copenhagen Ø and online.
Trust and breaches of trust
Infidelity and breaches of trust
When trust has been violated – for example by infidelity – it can be hard to know where to begin. The work can be about responsibility, questions, boundaries and clarifying whether and how you as a couple want to move forward. I do not promise that a relationship can be saved, but I make sure that both of you are heard, and that you get something concrete to work with – wherever you end up.
My expertise
Systemic and trauma-informed couples therapy
I work systemically and relationally: we look not only at two people who need to communicate better, but at the system you form together. Beneath criticism and withdrawal often lie protective strategies, earlier experiences, attachment patterns, shame, boundaries and a nervous system doing something to protect you both.
In couples therapy we therefore work with what lies just under the conflicts: the missing safety, the unanswered longings and the places where the body goes into defence. When the pattern becomes visible, it becomes easier to change – because you are no longer fighting each other, but the pattern standing between you.
Attachment patterns are often part of the picture: one seeks contact while the other pulls away, and both feel misunderstood. Read my article on attachment in relationships (in Danish).
As an examined and certified sexologist and couples therapist, I use my background – more than 15 years of working with people and families – to hold the direction, even when it is hard. Read more about my professional background.
More of what makes life feel alive
Desire, presence and what is alive between you
Couples therapy does not have to be only about conflicts and what hurts. It can also be about what you long for more of: presence, joy, touch, play, desire, love and erotic energy.
For some couples the work is about finding your way back to a connection that has slowly vanished in everyday life. For others it is about understanding what awakens desire – and what it takes to dare to open up and be more alive together.
Eroticism is not just sex. It can also be tension, curiosity, a glance, touch, freedom, imagination and the feeling of being desired.
Sometimes therapy is about finding each other again. Other times it is about honestly sensing what is still there between you, and what each of you wants for your life.
Tools between sessions
Concrete dialogue tools you can use at home
Therapy does not stop when you walk out the door. You take concrete dialogue tools with you to use between sessions – small exercises, phrasings and ways to approach hard conversations that make a difference in everyday life.
- Ways to start a difficult conversation without it escalating
- Exercises in listening – even when it hurts to hear
- Phrasings that open instead of close
- A shared understanding of your pattern – and of how to notice it in time
I do not promise that everything will be good again. But I do promise you a space where you can talk honestly, and tools to keep working. What you do with it is your decision.
Questions and answers
Frequently asked questions about couples therapy
How long is a couples therapy session?
A couples therapy session lasts 90 minutes. See prices and booking.
Where does couples therapy take place in Virum?
In my practice at Hybenvej 86, 2830 Virum. So the practice is in Virum – not Lyngby or Holte, both of which lie nearby.
Can we come if we live in Lyngby or Holte?
Yes. The Virum practice is close to both Lyngby and Holte, and you can also choose sessions in Copenhagen Ø or online.
What does couples therapy cost, and how long is a session?
Couples therapy costs 895 kr. for 90 minutes. Times are chosen in the booking calendar.
Do we need to know whether we will stay together before we begin?
No. Some couples come to find their way back to each other; others come to clarify what they each want. Both are a fine starting point.
Can we do couples therapy online?
Yes. You can choose between Copenhagen Ø, Virum or online.
What if we have different levels of desire?
Mismatched desire is something we can look at in couples therapy without pointing fingers. You can also read more about sexological therapy or my page (in Danish) about low desire and mismatched desire in relationships.
Can couples therapy help after infidelity or a breach of trust?
Yes. Infidelity and breaches of trust are things many couples talk about in therapy. What it leads to is up to you.
What if my partner does not want to come?
Then you can still work with your own patterns in individual sessions – read more about individual therapy.
You do not need to agree on everything – only on giving it a try
The only thing you need to agree on is wanting to look at this together. We will take it from there.